I was going to let this blog go. I’ve been struggling with it for a while. It was the “only joy, only love” that was getting me. It felt like toxic positivity and that is not my intention behind it. I wanted a space to share things that raise my vibe. So I have decided to keep it up and do just that.
I have learned quite a lot about myself over the past few years and realized how much fear and judgement were holding me back. I was only seeing the love and the joy and created a narrative around that but I had blinders on so I couldn’t see the big picture. I certainly wasn’t following my intuition.
The reality is that I can find joy and love in every moment. Even the challenging ones. If I do start to feel fear, I have the tools to not let it spiral into a full on anxiety attack. But instead of pushing the discomfort of the fear under the proverbial rug, I can experience it, move through it and most importantly, learn from it. It is pretty freeing and powerful.
I am so thankful for the healers who have helped me in my journey. They all came to me at the perfect time. This was much bigger than a cancer recovery journey for me. I had the unique opportunity to start fresh and create my beautiful life. In order to do so, I have had to do some pretty serious healing work on my body, mind and spirit. It’s a lifelong journey of healing and growth but in retrospect, covid kind of happened at the perfect time for me. An opportunity grieve the ending of my almost 20 year marriage and get to the bottom of my self limiting beliefs in the comfort of my yoga pants with no temptation to socialize. Although my friend and I did sign me up for tinder for one weekend for reconnaissance (seriously better than a concert) but it showed me that I was definitely not ready to date. Haha
Of all the modalities of healing I have used (and learned because I am now a reiki II practitioner), one of the most powerful experiences of healing for me was when I was able to talk to a healer friend and talk openly to her about every single thing that was in my head and heart. I thought the tears would never stop. She listened with zero judgement and unconditional love. It was such a cathartic experience for me and taught me an important lesson about sacred listening.
Do you have someone who can listen to your hopes and fears with out judgement? Without offering unsolicited advice. Just listening – give it a try. It helps :-). You don’t need an appointment with a therapist to get stuff out of your head and sometimes, that is all it takes for your own clarity. I am not diminishing the importance of a therapist…I have my own but this is something even a dear friend can do as Leslie Ann at Featherlight Wellness did for me that day. It was a beautiful experience I will never forget.
Sending lots of love out to you all on the foggy Easter Monday. I took the day off to hang with the girls. I’m also getting my new piano tuned – more about that later because it definitely brings me JOY! Eeekkk!
Only joy, only love (and all the shit in between),
Until next time,