This time 4 years ago I was in ICU on life support. An allergic reaction during my mastectomy surgery caused my heart to stop and I was lights out. Bye bye. Thankfully, the medical team brought me back and somehow over the next two days, I came back.
This kind of experience changes how you see the world. It doesn’t take away the challenges, but it does change how you process them.
I’m not gonna lie – the past four years hasn’t been all roses. Facilitating my physical, spiritual and emotional healing while supporting my children through their healing, the breakdown and loss of my marriage and trying to navigate coparenting has been a lot. And frigging Covid….talk about an isolating time in history while trying to work from home and home school the girls. It was and continues to be a time to dig deep and uncover all the self limiting beliefs that had layered up over the years and lifetimes.
Even with all the therapy and tools I have learned and use I still, at times, continue to struggle with anxiety. The overwhelming feeling in my chest that feels like I may die. Not being able to get a deep breath or get my words out…like I am literally being choked. It’s brutal but I know that it comes from worrying about the future or the past and if I stay only in the present, anxiety doesn’t exist. Embodying this is a work in progress. I am a work in progress.
So my 2022 plan is to listen more, stay connected, spend time doing things and with people that energize me and to keep loving myself and my daughters while staying as present as possible….even among the chaos. A tall order but I am up for the challenge.
Remember to be kind to yourself. One moment at a time.
Sending so much love to you today and every day! Here’s to 2022!
Until next time!
Only joy, only love (and all the shit in between),
Michelle
Only Joy, Only Love 